Thirty-Something Soccer Mom

Trying to decide if you should let your kids have pets?

This week we had to say goodbye to our family dog, Nelly.                                  Nelly was a part of our life for over 12 years.  Losing her has been hard on all of us but especially on my kids.  Since her passing I’ve been thinking a lot about pets and the important role they play in our kids lives.  

So if you’re weighing the pros and cons of this big decision read ahead and find out why it’s at least worth considering:

1.  To teach your children Empathy and Loss-

I find it interesting that the average lifespan of most cats, dogs and other domesticated pets is less than 15 years.  That means that most children will experience the death of a beloved family pet at least once during their childhood.   Why is this important?  Because the pain and loss they feel when losing a pet will prepare them for greater losses they’ll experience in life.

It also allows children to feel empathy.  The pain of losing a pet is significant in the life of a child.  An experience like this gives them a glimpse of the pain others feel when losing a grandparent, a friend or family member.  My children were heartbroken the first time we lost one of our baby pygmy goats.  They were so upset they had to stay home from school until they could stop crying.  One of my sons tearfully told me, “Mom, it hurts so much…I can’t imagine how hard it would be if you or Dad died.”

Experiencing death on a smaller scale teaches children about loss and helps them feel more compassion for others who lose a loved one.

2.  It puts their Faith into Perspective. 

When your kids experience the death of a pet, one of the things they’re usually curious about is if they’ll ever see them again.  Answering this question can sometimes lead to bigger questions like:

What happens when we die? 

Is death the end?

Where do we go? 

Will we see our loved ones again?

Answering these questions in the context of their loss brings their faith and religious beliefs to life in a real and meaningful way.

From the time our kids were young we’ve taught them about heaven and what happens when we die.  Losing our dog this week was difficult but my children were greatly comforted by the belief that they’ll see her again.  

3.  To show them the beauty of life.

Just as the death of a pet can teach kids significant lessons about empathy and loss, having pets can also provide opportunities for kids to understand the beauty of life.  When our cat had kittens it happened on a Saturday when we were all at home. I still remember the sacred feeling in the room as we gathered with hushed tones around her box on the laundry room floor.  The feeling of wonder and awe was so unforgettable that even my youngest (who was very young at the time) remembers that day.

Since then, our kids have had several opportunities to experience the miracle of birth.  Every couple of years our pygmy goats have babies and my children have been able to watch them being born.  Watching those tiny little goats still wet and warm from their mothers body has not only been fascinating to my children but has given them a deep respect for the beauty of life. 

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4.  To prepare them (and you) for conversations about sex.

Having pets can also open the door for having conversations about sex.  When our cat and mama goat got pregnant (unexpectedly) our kids were curious about how that happened.  Sometimes it’s easier to talk to our kids about sexual reproduction as it relates to animals before we ever have “the talk” with them about human intimacy.  Having these earlier conversations makes it less awkward later on for both of you. 

5.  To Develop their Nurturing instinct.

Don’t you love that warm, peaceful feeling you get when you’re hugging your kids or cuddling your sweetheart on the couch?  That rush of endorphins feels great, doesn’t it?

Over the years I’ve noticed that my kids seem to experience that same feeling of love and tenderness when they’re holding their pets.  I know it sounds crazy but when I see them snuggling with their kitty, petting their bunny or guinea pig they seem to be experiencing that same feeling.

Recently I’ve wondered if having pets fills an inherent need for them to not just receive love but to give love.  I wonder, does having pets give them an emotionally safe outlet to nurture that instinct?

Loving people (especially a brother or sister) can be hard for kids but loving animals is easy because they don’t require anything of us. They don’t argue with us, challenge us or do annoying things that we don’t like.  

 3.  To Teach them Responsibility.

People ask me all the time why we have goats and chickens, and while it’s true that I love fresh eggs and the brush eating abilities of our pygmy goats, it’s just as important to me that we have the animals so my kids have daily chores and responsibilities.

In our house our kids have a rotating chore schedule to cover the care of our pets and animals.  Because of this, we’ve never had to clean out my daughter’s guinea pig cage or feed and water my sons rabbit, clean out the chicken coop or feed the  goats.  We leave these responsibilities (and their associated consequences) entirely up to them.

Whoever is on chicken duty for the month is responsible for feeding, watering and gathering the eggs.  We can always tell how well of a job that person is doing because if they aren’t feeding and watering them daily, then their egg production slows down to a meager offering.  When this happens whoever is on chicken duty has to buy us eggs at the store with their own money.  

The person in charge of taking care of the goats has to bring them out the pasture every morning and take them back into the shed at night.  Over the years there have been many times that my boys have forgotten to bring the goats in at night and we haven’t realized it until after we’ve gone to bed ourselves.  Even though it’s late, my husband would wake them up and walk out to the pasture with them (when they were little) while they brought the goats into the shed.

For years, they thought he was “so mean” for getting them out of their warm, cozy beds.  Then one night, when my son forgot to bring them in, we lost one of our goats to a pack of coyotes.  That experience made for a painful lesson in responsibility that our son will never forget.

Giving kids the responsibility of caring for your family’s pets and animals teaches them that their action or inaction has real and lasting consequences.  

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As I look back on the last 12 years I realize that having pets has added a lot of stress, mess and expense to our already hectic life.  But I’d be ungrateful if I didn’t acknowledge the the many ways that  Nelly, (and our other pets) have blessed and enriched our lives.

Below is a picture of Nelly and my daughters recent journal entry.                          Rest in peace Nelly…you will always be in our hearts.