Thirty-Something Soccer Mom

I have a cousin whose life is a bit of a train wreck…

She’s 33-year-old single Mom with 4 kids from 3 different fathers.  She’s never been married but has a list of ex live-in boyfriends that exceed the number of notches on your favorite belt.

If you’ve ever met her you’d probably love her.  She’s funny, down to earth, stylish and optimistic.  Over the years I’ve watched from the sidelines as she’s unsuccessfully searched for “Mr. Right.”  She just can’t seem to find a good guy and she has no idea why… but I do.

There’s a popular song rising in the charts called “Hide Away” by Daya.  As I listen to the lyrics I hear her voice join with thousands of other women (like my cousin) as she repeatedly asks the question, “Where do the good boys go to hide away?”  

So if you’re like them and wondering where all the good boys hide away, listen up because I’m about to tell you.

The following list is not based on surveys or statistics but comes from a woman who never had a problem finding good guys to date and ended up marrying the ultimate good guy.  We’ve been married for 17 years and he still impresses me as being the best man I know.  There may be other places to meet a good guy but in my experience these places should be at the top of your list:

1) Work…

This might be surprising to hear, especially with all the concerns and policies around workplace romances, but hear me out.  The type of profession a man chooses says a lot about who he is and what he wants out of life.  Now of course this is dependent on where you work.  If you have an entry level job that might be more suitable for a high school student this may not apply.   But if you’re employed in a place where you’re surrounded by men who had to sacrifice and commit to gain the training and education needed for their job, you’re on the right track.

2) School…

Whether he’s pursuing a degree to advance his career or simply taking a class to expand his understanding of the world around him, if you find a good student you’ll most likely find a good guy.

3) Running/ Cycling Races…

I’ve run many races over the years from 10K’s to marathons and I can’t believe how many good men are out there running!  I know from personal experience that chatting it up for a few miles with a runner on a long race can be a welcome distraction for him as well as for you.  Being a runner requires discipline and commitment and you just can’t fake that on a long distance course. Not surprisingly these same character traits translate to other aspects of their lives too.  

4) Church…

It may be unpopular to say this in our secular society but good guys usually do believe in God and many of them attend church.  In most religions members are expected to live by a higher moral code than the average Joe.  This means that things like honesty, respect and virtue are often a fundamental part of their character.

5) The Great Outdoors…

Take a hike, go camping, climb a mountain.  These are the types of activities good guys do. They enjoy the solitude of nature, they’re adventurous, and they have the drive and determination to push themselves as they search for the best view from the highest summit.  They also might be a hippy that lives in a van and has no intention of ever getting a real job so use your best judgment.

6) Community/ Volunteer Organizations…

Whether he helps out at a local food bank or volunteers at the Boys and Girls club a good guy likes to be a part of a good cause.

So, have you noticed any places absent from this list?

That’s another little secret I’ll let you in on.  Knowing where you’re NOT going to find a good guy is just as important as knowing where they DO “hide away.”  You may not want to hear this but you’re most likely not going to meet a “good guy” in a bar or a club.

Of course there’s always exceptions to this rule but I’m here to give it to you straight.  Good guys don’t usually go to places like that to find a match because they’re smart enough to know they’re not going to find the kind of girl they’re looking for in a bar drinking shots and grinding with a stranger on the dance floor.

Ever heard the phrase…“Birds of the same feather flock together?”  That same logic applies in the dating world too. If you want a guy who doesn’t sleep around then be a girl who doesn’t either.  When you consider the long list of qualities you’re looking for in the “perfect guy” (honesty, commitment, unselfishness, hard working, healthy, fit, no drama…etc.) honestly ask yourself if you have those same qualities too.

Amazing and exceptional men are looking for equally amazing and exceptional women.  So be your best self and work on the areas and qualities in yourself that you hope to attract.  Be the kind of woman a good guy is looking for, and maybe they won’t be so hard to find.